Sometimes I feel like a I am completely poly amorous. Its certainly not that I don't feel that I could love one person for any uncertain length of time, Its just that the idea of giving up all the love I have ever acquired and forgoing all that I might ever experience seems a little difficult too me. The notion of one great love surpassing the sum of all the love collective that I ever felt and ever will feel seems optimistic at best!

There has always bee aspects of love that I will share with certain people forever and that more than anything other factor shapes who I am. With only one love in my life forever and ever amen; will cease to be this wonderfully well rounded and interesting person? Am I doomed to become one dimensional for the sake of loving this one person that will invariably fall in and out of love with me as often as the leaves change? I don't know tat I am quite ready to take a leap into something that will ultimately cause me to see my self as this conforming, romanticized version of a stagnant me.

While I am sure that marriage does not have to be the end of all things great in a person, fora guy like me where mental stimulation and grandiose gratification is paramount; I have to wonder if monogamy will ever fulfill me. We have one life; approximately 75 years to do all we want to do, after that its over! I want to experience every thing and look back and wonder if I overdid things and not the opposite. I don't want to look back and wonder if more love and stimulation would have been the difference in fulfillment or not. I don't mind being hurt if it means that I tried my best at something GREAT and just what the world would have me do. I want tom love 1 woman and than 2 and than 3... Can I expect one woman to understand and be attracted to the many layers that are me? There is the kid from the ghetto, the partying college kid and the corporate raider hell bent on getting rich-Fast. What the fuck! I can't can't hardly keep up with me and I am supposed to expect one woman to understand the dichotomy and be sexually compatible and emotionally nurturing and honest and loyal. I am no genius, but by my calculations that is fucking impossible.

So am I poly, greedy, a bastard or just confused... Who knows. What I do know is this blog is my honest attempt to embrace who I am and be emotionally and intellectually honest with none other than ME.

Here's the test results:

Your Score: Compassionate

You're 70% Poly =) 88% tolerant of the poly lifestyle =) (But... you're 23% just in it for the sex =))

A true poly, tolerant and loving, not just here for the sex and all around a good person...

but watch out... you're willing to lie to your mate to protect them, a typical compassionate pot hole - you'd do anything to prevent them from getting hurt right? (And lets face it having them upset at us doesn't help any either...)

Just becareful - some people will lie to protect their loved ones - and end up protecting them from ever knowing who you really are. That's not what you want - you should be finding someone who can love you for who you are and accept all the parts of you with out having to lie about any of them =/ And even that's something you can live with - If you're doing things you can't tell your loved one about anyway... you're not quite as good a person as you think you are =/

Becareful! That's all - end of sermon =)

Much love to you and good luck =)

Gabriel Night

Oh - just so you don't go off wondering - the first question? the one about monogamous cultures? the answer is 16% of recorded cultures have been monogamous - 84% have been non monogamous! how about that? =)

Link: The Polyamorous Test written by Gabriel_Night on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test